Dylan Harloff- A Comeback Story

Written by Nick Shimkin and Cole Pusateri


You may see the Blue Chip Division 3 Lacrosse star prospect Dylan Harloff and think to yourself, "man this guy has it all". But this is what the fans don't see, a struggle and fall from the top. Clawing his way as a Clark Cougar should, back to greatness.


It all started in 7th Grade with the young and hungry outlaw in the best shape of his life both physically and technically. Making the South Side Middle School Basketball Team, a feat not many can claim, was an immense accomplishment for the young man. A jump-shot like no other, the power of a bull and the range of a sniper. He was immaculate (except for his haircut). This continued into 8th grade, this time playing an even bigger role in the team's success. A two sport athlete as well, playing goalie on the lacrosse team and exceling, even though this was a new position for him. Things were going absolutely as planned for the youthful stud. Until he developed a love for illicit substances and the Wendy's 4 for 4. Our projections using the Second String Simulator indicate that he would have been 6 foot 8, 204 pounds and 6% body fat had this not happened to him.


Unfortunately, this was the beginning of a slippery slope. In 9th grade he faced a new challenge, making the JV basketball team. A sure thing, thought Harloff. He skipped pre-season workouts and played 2K instead. As a result, the unthinkable happened. He was cut from the squadron! A lazy, sad, and worn down Harloff had no hope for the future. His goal keeping skills were depleted as well. Once an athletic god, has fallen from grace to the likes of an average joe. OR LESS.


This went on for another year. However, gaining weight and becoming a shameful hobo was not his destiny. There was hope. In his darkest depths of laziness, Dylan hated what he saw. He laced up his cleats, blacked his eyes, strung his stick and had his mom spend an immense amount of money on a private goalie trainer. Going into his junior year, the fire burned on for "The Loff". He gained muscles and shed fat. Religiously hit the weights and religiously remained married to those devilish vices. His mentor and lifting partner Greg Lethbridge had this to say about his progress. "He's truly Hammer Trained. The kid is in the gym getting after it every day with me and getting swole AF. We had some slip ups like the Jones Beach incident but he's a star in the making"


His senior year would answer many questions about where this young man was at mentally and physically. With College on the horizon, it was a huge topic in the media about where the Lax God would end up. With many offers on the table, there was only one that was able to win him over. On November 12th, Harloff dropped the commit to play at Clark University. With expectations being even higher now for Dylan, a big year was needed and indeed, a big year we got. The former bum now acrobatic star goalie put on many of his finest performances, driving the team to the playoffs where they would defeat Long Beach but fall short to Garden City. He says he found his motivation while in the trenches of that 18 foot crease from his online babe and from us heckling him from the stands. "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno" yelled Connor Alfano from the fence as a confused Harloff gets in position. Truly a comeback story for the ages.


Now that his high school career is over, Harloff is focusing on his career as a cabana boy, working for hours upon hours and days upon days. He still enjoys some devilish vices but looks forward to making a statement for the Cougars. Go Scofflaw.





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